


when you were-

by nonbinarywithaknife (littleboxes)



Series: me sobbing about critical role [14]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Feels, Darkest Timeline, F/M, Fantastic Racism, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Sad, Sad Ending, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 12:37:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17746025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/pseuds/nonbinarywithaknife
Summary: "...and suddenly she’s drowning all over again,"...Nott and Yeza reunite. It doesn't go well.





	when you were-

**Author's Note:**

> there is no happiness here just angst and i have (0) regrets  
> edited 4/26/19

    Finally, after weeks of travel, they find where Yeza’s being kept. He’d told them as much as he could through Jester’s messages, his hopes kept up by the knowledge that he wasn’t alone, that there were people coming for him.

    Nott holds her breath, every time Jester sends a message. Usually, when Jester turns to her a few seconds later and relays his response, she sighs with relief, and commits the words to memory. But occasionally, there is no response. Just Jester, saying quietly, “I’m sorry Nott,” and a choking fear that lodges itself into her throat until the next night, the next message.

    They’re fighting their way through the hallway, and she can see the door at the end. _Her husband_ is waiting for her at the end of that hallway, and the knowledge makes her braver than any flask could’ve. But, once the enemies are dead and they’re standing in front of the room, all that bravery flees. She takes a deep breath, and casts _disguise self_. The rest of the Nein stay back, but there’s only so far they can go. It’s fine.

    She steps into the room, sees a crumpled figure chained to the wall in the corner. Hears a choked, “Veth?” She steps forward, out of the shadows, and tries not to let the tears in her eyes stop her from unlocking his cuffs. It’s a matter of seconds, and Yeza’s free. He turns to her, eyes wide. “Veth, is it really you? I- we buried you, I thought you were-” he cuts himself off, and reaches for her hand. She pulls it back, knowing what he’ll feel, and she needs to tell him, first. “Yeza, I- There’s something I need to tell you. The- the goblins, they- they did kill me. But-,” she breathes deeply, “then they- they brought me back,” she says, and lets the spell drop.

    For a second, his expression is frozen, and she feels the hope in her heart soar- but then, his expression twists. His eyes harden and he lets out a snarl of disgust. “What kind of joke is this?!” he yells, and stumbles back. The tears run faster now, as all of her worst fears come crashing down on top of her. “Yeza- Please- I- I- know that I’m, I look like this, but I’m trying to fix it, I-” and she takes a few steps forward, only to stop dead at the hate-filled glare he sends at her. “I don’t know what happened to you, Veth, but I loved you when you were who I fell in love with, not this- _monster_ ,” he spits.

    She can feel the weakness in her knees as his words settle into her bones. _Ugly, disgusting, creature, monster, beast_ \- the words run through her mind frantically, and she feels a lightheaded. She sees a flash of ginger in the corner of her eye, hears the shout, and then the talking, but her world is crumbling around her and all she can see are the blue eyes of her husband, the eyes she’d imagined at night when her claws itched with the need to slash, rip, _tear_ this _wrong wrong wrong_ skin _off_ , the eyes she danced with in her dreams, when she had brown freckles and hazel eyes, and all she can see is the icy blue of the river water as she chokes, and suddenly she’s drowning all over again, and then the world goes black.

**Author's Note:**

> -caleb checks in on his bff to make sure things are going okay  
> -he sees sad tears instead of happy tears  
> -tells beau to punch the mean halfling man  
> -(she does, happily)
> 
> -anyway yeah i love yeza but this idea wouldn't stop bothering me so here it is, hope u like it


End file.
